What does everyone have against crying?
As a society, when someone starts to cry, we rush to say “don’t cry, it’s ok.” Why are we stopping them? They are literally just releasing energy and moving it out of their body. I’ve never understood the stigma attached to letting things out or letting things go. Why do we immediately attach it to weakness or negativity?
Me? I think crying is awesome. I’ve actually scheduled time into my day to bawl (type-A life). When we see children crying and immediately stifle their emotions- we are (unintentionally) emotionally injuring future generations. It’s time to be more aware of our choices and think outside of “what we have always done” or “what was always done to us.” Those phrases are not productive and stunt growth. Think about it, do you only use a landline or dial-up internet because that’s “what was always done” ? I don’t think so. So let’s be really honest with our words- when we are resistant to changing the way we think or act, it’s not resistance to the change, but a resistance to wondering if we have been doing it incorrectly, if we will lose control in the adjustment or if it somehow will impact our experience/understanding. Human; yes. Reasons to continue to associate an energetic release as weakness; no.
It’s time to lessen our attachment to comfort. The comfort of always being content. The comfort of those around us always being content. The comfort of always doing what we have always done. These comforts unarguable keep us stuck, but that’s only the surface level of the damage. Beyond that, when we push down what is surfacing, it doesn’t actually go away.
Crying is a form of release. It’s a way that we process and let go of emotions. It’s allowing space for something to surface and then honoring that feeling. Whether it’s a physical injury, fear, sadness, worry - when we stifle the energy that attaches to those, we are burying it in us. And that shit will come back with a vengeance. Sometimes it waits days, weeks, months or even years. Sometimes it barks at the barista at the coffee shop who used the wrong type of milk or lashes out at the car that cut us off. Other times…. it can have a far more intensive, destructive manifestation.
The good news? If we cry more, we will be nicer humans.
Of course we shouldn’t walk around in a state of despair at all times. Rather, we allow the pain to surface and choose crying as one vehicle to process so then we can release. When we sprint to get out of the discomfort, through food, drink, Netflix binges, shopping sprees, gambling… whatever the vice may be, we are basically adults telling our inner child to stop crying.
Let it process. Let it go. MOVE. forward. You gut this.